Good day, my love bugs.
Photo credit: Unsplash Images
I have missed you all so much. Can you believe we are at the end of 2025? I feel like I have lived so many lives this year. There is something I have realized this year that I want us to unpack. What does it mean to truly live?
Trick question right? What is the difference between living and functioning? The reason these questions came up today is that I have been asking myself them recently. There was a moment I had in therapy once where I was voicing my frustrations to my therapist about how I felt like my life was not evolving as it should have. I kept on reiterating living like this and living like that and she looked at me and asked ‘How about you just live?’. That threw me into a loop and I have been struggling with living. It sounds weird but I have realized that I know how to function, and I know how to survive but I do not know what it is like to live.
When I started my wellness journey in 2022, I was really committed to developing the systems that would improve the overall function of life and it worked. I started going to the gym, going to therapy, journaling, etc. This helped set the routine I needed to go through university and maintain my well-being but now that I am done with university and working there has been a void that I feel. The routine started to feel mundane and I started to feel unfulfilled. This unfulfillment will not be cured by work or routine it will be cured by living. The challenge is how? How do I roll out of bed and say Today I will live? How will I do it without endless to-do lists? How will I do it without constantly planning for tomorrow?
Truth is, I do not know and that is okay. Not knowing is exactly how we will begin to live. There is a quote from Pinterest which I do not know is by it says “I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away.” I love this quote because I believe it sums up my life. I know where the endless planning and surviving come from. It could have been raised by parents who were always in survival mode. A schooling culture of constantly having to know what you want to do with the rest of your life. I faced the biggest obstacle which was graduating at the time. I have overcome all of these obstacles and I do not have to be in survival mode anymore, I can finally live.
To be fair, not all of us have the privilege of just living. The way the capitalist world is set up you have to survive. If you spend most of your time making ends meet living and resting are at the bottom of your priority list. This is sad. That is why I feel we are experiencing a collective burnout but how do we live despite the circumstances?
Know the difference between living and just functioning
There are a few ways we can dissect living and functioning. On a philosophical level, Aristotle spoke about the concept of Eudaimonia which is a life lived in accordance with one’s true purpose and reason. In psychology, Carl Rogers described living as a fully functioning person who embraces personal growth, openness, contentment, and self-awareness. In positive psychology, both elements of hedonic well-being and eudaimonic well-being constitute living. In terms of functioning or just existing philosophy states this as merely being present and going through the motions. It’s a person who is physically and biologically alive but is not actively engaged with their own life. In psychology functioning or just existing is a person who meets their basic needs and appears to be fine but they lack genuine excitement and purpose. As stated before various factors go into people just functioning or existing, it could be due to mental health issues like mental health, burnout, and the cost of living. We all want to live and not just get by.
You have done it before and you get to do it again
I am not saying you should abandon your routine or quit therapy I am just urging you to live. I notice that with myself, there was a time when I set up systems so that I could function. If I could set up systems, dedicated to them, and overcome obstacles I can surely live and not just passively. The trick is not to separate the two but to merge them. We can plan but there are just some things that are not in our control.
What you can do
The Life Energy Foundation has proposed two ways to not just exist but to live. The first step is to do something fun. This can be as simple as going to see a movie, eating at your favourite restaurant, or catching up with an old friend. I am a big advocate of solo dates and treating yourself. You do not have to go out of your budget or spend money if you do not want to-just intentionally do something for yourself. The second suggestion is to calm your mind and move your body. This is as simple as making time in the day to sit down for a few minutes with no distractions. You can choose to do yoga or meditate just close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and relax. Moving your body is to do any form of exercise three times a week, this can look like going to the gym, running, pilates or just taking a walk.
I want to add one more thing: interrogate. If you have been feeling unfulfilled or like you have lost interest in the things you like to do. Look at the why and then figure out the how. This may take time and it is okay. Remember, living is serendipitous, it is not planned so do just that.
Till next time, Cheers!
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