Good day my love bugs.
These editor’s notes are me just scribbling my thoughts to you guys so if it is all over the place, forgive me. I think I have been having a creative or a writer’s block. Trust me I have been wanting to write and the words have been in my brain but putting pen to paper has been hard. Now that the honeymoon phase of the year is over dealing with real life has been difficult.
My mental health has been going through its usual cycles, on some days I am super productive, happy, and motivated and then there are days when I do not want to go to bed. I have also been having intense neck pain which is now back pain ever since I stopped writing my exams. The fear of failure has been creeping up on me so has doubt and this is normal. I also still struggle with perfectionism and have a way of constantly worrying about the future, particularly what I am going to be next year.
It is deep but it is also not that deep, I think I have a complicated life when my life is going how exactly it should be. Earth is just a floating rock in the middle of space and I can't prove that anyone but me is real. I hope this break allows me to tap back into my creativity which I have neglected. I feel like I have lost that zest that I had and I want to get it back. I am also trying to work on actually processing my emotions instead of actualizing them. I am also in the process of forming relationships with my psychologist and psychiatrist. On most days nothing happens but then there are days where years happen. The days are long but the years are short, how are we already halfway through the year?
I have also been working so much on the things I want to achieve and nothing has happened yet, it may be a good sign but because I like to stress about everything and low-key have visions of what my life should look like it frustrates me. It is safe to say that your twenties are absolute crap with the constant fear of settling but also wanting some sort of stability. If there is one thing for sure is that writing always haunts me, I cannot live without this gift or this platform.
If you are reading this I hope you are kind to yourself, I hope you are resting and that you are eating well. I hope you dance around in your pyjamas and take a lot of pictures. I also hope that you do more of what you love and you enjoy. Remember that a good year can have bad moments in it.
Till next time, Cheers!
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