Good day, my love bugs.
What if I told you that healing is not linear? What if I told you that there is not one big jackpot at the end? What if I told you that just as unpredictable as life is, so is healing? There are no incentives in the healing journey just reflection. At times healing feels like regression and can feel like a cycle of feeling immense contentment and hopelessness. So will the journey ever come to an end? I am still figuring it out but here are some tips about the healing journey you want to know.
You are not better than anyone because you embarked on a healing journey.
There is a sense of superiority that ‘pop psychology’ can give you which is going to be the downfall of mental health awareness. You should by all means share your good experiences with other people and even encourage people to embark on their healing journeys. However, you do not get to tell anyone that they are less than you or even look down on someone who is not on the same journey as you. Our journeys are different, our healing looks different and you can meet people as deep as they have met themselves. If you notice that someone needs professional help you could recommend them and advise them but until that person wants help there is nothing you can do to help them. Not everyone wants to embark on a healing journey some people are content with their lives and themselves just as is. You are also not better because you are complicit in your suffering.
Healing is an active choice.
Cityescape counseling speaks about how to commit to healing on a daily basis. At times we need to remind ourselves that we are choosing better when we sense a repetition of old patterns. No one made the choice to struggle or experience pain but it is up to us to heal our own pain. The decision to heal is one you have to follow through even when you do not feel like it.
Grief and loss are a part of the journey.
There is a misconception that we only experience grief and loss when someone close to us passes away. However, we grieve past versions of ourselves we even grieve the life we used to live. Cityescape states that when we go through experiences in life we have a newfound understanding of ourselves and the world around us. You can also be grieving the loss of connections, friendships, or family because who you are now does not align with their view of you.
Healing can bring up more pain.
It may get worse before it starts to get better. It sounds easier in concept but is very hard to do for example you never realize how out of shape you are until you start exercising or how long a minute is until you do a workout. We have to feel to heal. You need to be in touch with your emotions to recover and making sense of emotions can often bring up more pain. Healing is not all fuzzy warm or aesthetic it can get dark with many twists and turns. The pain also does not go away forever. I have realized that I cannot go through life unscathed. People can often hold the perception that if they are healed and have accepted something painful in their lives, they will no longer be triggered. The reality is more nuanced and complex than that. There are moments when something will trigger you such as a song, and you will learn how to manage it better. You will in your healing journey learn to grow around your pain through your own life experiences.
It's the small things.
You may know that the process is not linear but do you know that it is not grandiose? Healing is not done in a single momentous stroke of change. You do not wake up, decide to heal, and put in some major life changes that lead to a healed self. Healing happens in small steps. It could be as simple as drinking a glass of water and sitting with that emotion instead of trying to numb the emotion it could be going for a walk. Healing happens in small incremental behavioral changes that build up to bigger changes over time. Think of the small ways you can commit to your healing journey to get to the place you want to be.
Remember to take each moment of life steadily. Maybe right now all you need to do is just make a decision. Maybe all you need to do right now is live? Maybe life right now looks like getting through each day. The older we get the more we become grateful to make it into a new year alive and getting one more shot at life. Life is not happening for you but it is happening to you so embrace whichever season you are in.
Till next time, Cheers!
Resources: https://www.cityscapecounseling.com/blog/
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