Skip to main content

Navigating self-forgiveness

Good day, my love bugs.
Happy New Year!

I spoke to a friend the other day and she told me that you cannot hate yourself into becoming the person that you want to be. This made me think about how we are not moving forward because we are still caught up in the mistakes that we made.
 According to Verywellmind self-forgiveness is not necessarily about letting yourself off the hook it is also not a sign of weakness. It is an important step that you are taking for your mental health. Self-forgiveness means that you are accepting what has happened and you are willing to move past it without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed. There can be many reasons why you are struggling to forgive yourself it could be that you are worried that you are going to make the same mistake again or you are worried about how facing your actions might damage your self-esteem. 
Depending on the magnitude of the mistake(s) and who it has impacted forgiving yourself might not seem like a choice, you feel like you are your mistakes. People around you can also make you feel like you are your mistakes even if you have apologized or have changed your behaviour. You are struggling to forgive yourself because you are thinking that this is all you will ever be. So instead of forgiving yourself, you do the opposite, you punish yourself. Being unable to forgive myself has caused me to dim my light it has made me want to be invisible.
Self-forgiveness is a process and I want us to take this year working on forgiving ourselves. Understanding the act of forgiving yourself can be significant in terms of personal growth and self-improvement. So the 101 to self-forgiveness is not just to 'let it go' like some napkin in the wind. Imagine someone you admire and they made the exact mistake that you did before they accomplished the things that you admire them for, how does this change your perception of them? Pay attention to the physical reaction in your body you are giving them grace because you know we are human and we make mistakes.

 You are most likely not the only person who has made this mistake and you are not alone in this. Punishing yourself is not the best way to go about this, consider your mistakes and deeply learn from those lessons. This is something that is going to take a while and that is why we are going to be working through it throughout this year.

Till next time, Cheers!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are you lazy or just burned out?

Good day, my love bugs. In a world that glorifies productivity, resilience, and endless multi-tasking, many women find themselves quietly battling a double-edged sword: executive dysfunction and emotional burnout. These terms can be intimidating, but they are deeply personal and often misunderstood, especially in women with functional depression. What is executive dysfunction? Kendra Kubala from Healthline wrote in her article Understanding Executive Dysfunction and How It Shows Up that executive dysfunction disrupts the brain's ability to plan, focus, remember instructions, and manage multiple tasks. It affects the executive functions of the brain, which are skills that help us get things done. It is not laziness or lack of willpower. It is often linked to mental health conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and trauma. For many women, executive dysfunction looks like: Starting tasks but never finishing them. Constantly missing deadlines or appointments Feeling overwhelmed ...

Spiritual bypassing and its danger to mental health

Kendra Cherry on Verywellmind describes spiritual bypassing as a tendency to use spiritual explanation to avoid complex psychological issues. My main issue with spiritual bypassing is the notion that one's struggle with mental health is a result of not practicing religion or spirituality enough. It is no surprise that when a person is going through a tough time they lean more on their spirituality and there is nothing wrong with that. However, it has come to my attention over the years how people use spirituality to deflect their trauma. Deflecting trauma Our brains work in amazing ways the human body is built to be sufficient. Our brain will block out certain events because it is trying to protect us from psychological stress. Spiritual bypassing is a way the self-harm or to promote harmony between people mentions Cherry. Spirituality is a force that helps an individual well-being however spiritual bypassing does not resolve the issue it merely glosses over the problem. Facing y...

The Years That Have Questions

Good day, my love bugs. I have the world's cutest niece who recently turned four. How quick time files. So, my niece asks a lot of questions, most of which consist of "what's that", "where is so and so", "That's a- insert color or shape here", which are pretty valid questions if you are sharpening your identifying and confirmation skills. It made me think about how there are always questions in life. When we are younger, it is questions regarding shapes, people, and the world that spark our curiosity. As we get older, the questions shift to our identity and purpose. That is what has entailed my 2025, I have been asking myself several questions, from 'What do I want out of life?' to 'Who am I?' It is not the questions that scare me, but the fact that I do not have the answers to them. A year ago, I would have given lengthy answers to these, but now I do not know. Maybe I do know, and I am just afraid of coming to te...