Skip to main content

You have nothing to prove

Good day, my love bugs.

If you live in South Africa you know that Autumn is here which means that my birthday month is also here. Shout out to all of the Aries out there you are truly one of a kind! I become reflective every year around this time looking at all the time that has gone and what is to come. I get severe birthday anxiety, I am a big believer in birthdays and I am extremely excited the whole month of April but after my birthday there is also a sigh of relief. It is me wanting that day to be perfect and sitting in anticipation of the messages, the calls, and who reaches out. I am an adult now well in legal terms I am an adult and have been for some time now but I swear I still feel like a teenager. I do not think I make 'adult' decisions I just live life man. As a last born who spent so many years being the baby of the family, I find it hard to navigate adulthood my biggest fear is that I am going to be a disappointment which I am not and will never be but I struggle with this feeling and battle with these thoughts.

In this post, we are not going to be doing any challenges or learning new terminologies. I am just being candid with my thoughts and sharing something that has been weighing heavily on my heart now. The message that I have to send today is that you have nothing to prove. We discussed shame a few months back and shame can make you feel that you have to prove your worth. Last year I wrote a post on overachieving and being a multifaceted babe which is a result of insecurity. 
We give ourselves these identities become warped around them and live in them. My answers to questions about what I want for myself and what I want in the future have been lies. The answers involve this huge identity of myself doing something that pleases other people because of this idea of myself that I warped myself in. In true honesty I do not love where I am in life right now and what I am doing, to top it all off I have no idea what I am doing but in trusting God I have decided to do nothing. This year I do just as much as I can as I want because I have nothing to prove.

All of the accolades, titles, and positions do not prove my worth. My self-worth is in God and he is going to tell me what I should do. I made myself so busy that I realized that I could not hear God. The best thing about you which I hope you realise is that you are you with all of your imperfections. The path to healing is coming to terms with the fact that you are never going to be perfect the peace that you are looking for starts with you being able to sit with the noise. You need to live with the fact that you are flawed. May Autumn bring about good change, my love bug.

Till next time, Cheers!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Live better not faster

Good day, my love bugs. Who here only knows a state of freeze? You live in a state of constant, worry, stress, and anxiety. Well, join the club. I have been struggling with so much stress and anxiety these past few weeks that it has deeply affected my sleep schedule. It has made me reflect on my habits and my thought patterns. I realized that I am always looking at what needs to be done next or what goal still needs to be achieved while I haven't stayed in what I already have and am grateful about it. It made me think, that we are always moving especially at a rush pace. Where are well rushing to? The meaning of slow living Slow living is a mindset that encourages us to live in a self-aware and more conscious state of being where we make purposeful decisions for the benefit of our well-being. This mindset disregards the notion that being busy equates to being successful or important. Slow living is a part of the wider slow movement which began in the 1980s in Italy. It began as a m...
Post a Comment
Read more

The smart to average kid pipeline

My inspiration for this post came from a YouTube video titled ' You were a gifted kid 7 years ago. Now what?' by David Achu, I will link it down below. I won't toot my horn but I was a pretty smart kid. I got most of the awards in primary school and early on in high school. Being smart was my brand until fast forward to late high school and varsity. I know I am not the only one who has had this experience so let's take a lot into the dynamic of being a smart kid, overachiever, or even a child genius. You are not smart, you score well. The public school system in South Africa is focused more on feeding information to children rather than teaching students. The teachers are under pressure, schools are overcrowded and resources are limited. So, the system bases which children are bright on who can memorize the most information and who can get the highest scores. I mean scores do matter, APS/GPA matter and it also determines what you study in the future and...
Post a Comment
Read more

So you want to start therapy...

Good day, my love bugs. I put up an Instagram poll a while back on my wellness page @ acreatorswrite and I asked you guys what is the one thing you want to try or do in 2024. The majority of the response was therapy. As someone who has been in therapy since high school and someone who works in social services, I know that therapy can sound so overwhelming. Let us dismantle some of the myths that are associated with therapy. 1. Every journey starts with acceptance In the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous , the first step is to admit that you have a problem. This is similar to therapy because denial does not take you anywhere with any journey be it a fitness journey or a spiritual journey- you have to admit that there is something you have to address, a truth you are running away from, or an unresolved trauma that you have to deal with in therapy. Acceptance also comes with accountability in therapy you are going to have to own up to everything you ...
2 comments
Read more