Oversharing:A complexity of loneliness

Good day, love bugs.

You guys ate the last post up and I am so grateful.

We often hear that oversharing is a trauma response. How can one know that they are oversharing or that you simply just like to talk a lot? According to Science of People oversharing is when you say more than is appropriate in a given situation or to a specific person. Often what you say becomes oversharing when you don't have a deep enough connection with someone or are opening up in an uncomfortable or unsafe space.

There are lots of reasons why people overshare and the reason I want to highlight is loneliness. Verywellmind states that loneliness is a state of mind, people need to be able to be in solitude but what makes loneliness different is that the individual experiencing it feels empty, alone, unwanted, and craves human contact. Their state of mind makes it difficult for them to connect with others. Individualism rather than community is how today’s society operates.

In All About Love, Bell Hooks says “Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.” Oversharing as a trauma response or a dimension of loneliness is an indicator that we feel it is best if we go through hardships alone but to challenge that, it would be better to share with whom you trust so that you do not feel the need to divulge huge amounts of information when you meet people.

Another reason why people overshare is because of a false sense of closeness. Being in a state of loneliness can lead to this when someone is in your personal space for example, when you are at the nail salon or in an Uber, they are people in your personal space which creates a false sense of intimacy. It feels easy and acceptable to share a lot with them but not everyone deserves to know you at such an intimate level.

It is okay to crave human contact as human beings we are meant to be social and I know that not everyone has friends or has good relationships with their family. I also know that social anxiety exists and the pandemic has challenged the way that we communicate but it is never too late to try. Start small particularly in spaces that you enjoy, for us to connect we have to step out of our comfort zones we also have to have awkward but much-needed conversations. This is a reminder that you never 'too' anything for the people that deserve you. People who are meant to be in your life will be willing to be there for you.

Till next time,Cheers!

Comments

Are you lazy or just burned out?

Good day, my love bugs. In a world that glorifies productivity, resilience, and endless multi-tasking, many women find themselves quietly battling a double-edged sword: executive dysfunction and emotional burnout. These terms can be intimidating, but they are deeply personal and often misunderstood, especially in women with functional depression. What is executive dysfunction? Kendra Kubala from Healthline wrote in her article Understanding Executive Dysfunction and How It Shows Up that executive dysfunction disrupts the brain's ability to plan, focus, remember instructions, and manage multiple tasks. It affects the executive functions of the brain, which are skills that help us get things done. It is not laziness or lack of willpower. It is often linked to mental health conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and trauma. For many women, executive dysfunction looks like: Starting tasks but never finishing them. Constantly missing deadlines or appointments Feeling overwhelmed ...

Spiritual bypassing and its danger to mental health

Kendra Cherry on Verywellmind describes spiritual bypassing as a tendency to use spiritual explanation to avoid complex psychological issues. My main issue with spiritual bypassing is the notion that one's struggle with mental health is a result of not practicing religion or spirituality enough. It is no surprise that when a person is going through a tough time they lean more on their spirituality and there is nothing wrong with that. However, it has come to my attention over the years how people use spirituality to deflect their trauma. Deflecting trauma Our brains work in amazing ways the human body is built to be sufficient. Our brain will block out certain events because it is trying to protect us from psychological stress. Spiritual bypassing is a way the self-harm or to promote harmony between people mentions Cherry. Spirituality is a force that helps an individual well-being however spiritual bypassing does not resolve the issue it merely glosses over the problem. Facing y...

The Years That Have Questions

Good day, my love bugs. I have the world's cutest niece who recently turned four. How quick time files. So, my niece asks a lot of questions, most of which consist of "what's that", "where is so and so", "That's a- insert color or shape here", which are pretty valid questions if you are sharpening your identifying and confirmation skills. It made me think about how there are always questions in life. When we are younger, it is questions regarding shapes, people, and the world that spark our curiosity. As we get older, the questions shift to our identity and purpose. That is what has entailed my 2025, I have been asking myself several questions, from 'What do I want out of life?' to 'Who am I?' It is not the questions that scare me, but the fact that I do not have the answers to them. A year ago, I would have given lengthy answers to these, but now I do not know. Maybe I do know, and I am just afraid of coming to te...

thedreamycreative

Search This Blog