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Coming of age.

Good day, my love bugs.

I turned 21 recently and there are some things I want to share about my journey of self-love. The other day I put on my Instagram stories that I am finally starting to love myself. Hear me out, I have never been a person who lacked confidence, I can talk to anyone, and laugh with anyone, confidence is a part of my personality, I would say. Anyone can be confident, there are TED Talks on different techniques you can use to be confident but loving yourself is a different story.

A question that I asked myself at the beginning of my Becoming Her journey is 'Do I like myself?' It turns out I did not. I never gave myself grace, I self-sabotaged a lot, I talked to myself horribly, I was self-deprecating and no one wants to be around this type of a person. Someone who is self-deprecating is toxic and can be an energy vampire. I soon realized that something needs to change because I was not happy with the path that I was on. This is why I started doing self-development challenges on my blog and over the past year I have been focused on wellness. Self-love is the essence of my blog and of my page on Instagram @acreatorswrite.

I am not saying that there are days where I do not backslide, I am human and this journey is not the same for everyone. I do not completely love myself but I am starting to.

 Here are a few tips that have helped me on my Becoming Her journey:

1. I stopped treating myself as a project. There is a trap that we fall into when we read self-development books and doing self-development tasks is treating ourselves like projects. The beauty of self-love is that you are you at the end of the day.
2. Life is a journey it is not a destination. You have probably heard that somewhere but my problem was that I was rushing life. I thought that life was this big moment waiting to happen and when this moment happens I will start being happy.
3. Everything has its space and season. This is the era that I am in my life learning that things take time and that not everything that I want to happen will not happen now. When I was in high school I wanted to be in university so badly, I thought university was going to solve all my problems but boy I was wrong.
4. Watch what you consume. This is coming live from someone who consumes copious amounts of social media. I mean yes, we are in the social media era but it is really important to control what you consume or choose what you consume, it is called ‘my feed’ for a reason. I choose to consume cannot that were positive and that aligned with more of what I like.
5.You do not want to kill yourself, you want to kill something inside of yourself.  I have had struggles with my mental health and one day I will make a full post on this point.
6. You have to go after the life that you want. Life is not easy and it is very unpredictable but every day we have to choose the kind of life we are aspiring to.
7. Get help. I am the spokesperson for counseling and therapy, we all need someone professional to talk to. I say this because we live under capitalism and we face so much adversity in our lives. I hope to live in a future where therapy is accessible.
8. Spend time with yourself. Little miss solo dates are what I like to call myself. I love taking myself out. The only way we can love ourselves is if we spend time by ourselves, I am not saying you should self-isolate or hyper-independent but spend time by yourself so that you get to know yourself.
9. Leave it up to God. There many things I do not know but I do know that God is the author and the finisher of our lives. We may have plans for our lives but in the end, it is His plans that prevail. Be in sync with your spiritual guide and let it lead you.

Aries season has been blissful, and I am grateful to God for the life he has given me.

  Till next time, Cheers!


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